GET ME OUT OF HERE

SUNDAY 29 AUGUST
To be honest, yesterday (Saturday) was a bad day for me. Whether it was the taste of freedom on Friday – although I am slowly discovering that freedom is not about where I am - or that the communal living in the house has got to me – living in a room with 15 other men and sharing the same bathroom – I’m not sure, but I spent the day watching the clock feeling isolated and alone. Please don’t feel sorry for me – you’re not? – well, maybe just a little. It’s probably normal to feel this way at certain stages of the stay here, but it was a long day.

As I was going to bed, glad the day was over and ready to close my eyes and wake up to a new day, I got into a conversation with J. It was the last thing I wanted, but like everything in God’s plan it was a moment that made a difference to me. It changed my view of the whole day and the rest of my time here.

As I listened to his story, in broken English, which is far better than my extremely broken Cantonese (I can say ‘Good Morning!’ now as I shower next to a Brother), he told me of some of the turmoil in his life. 37 years old, married with 2 children aged 4 and 2, all of whom he hasn’t seen for 9 months, (since being at St. Stephens) he came here having been on heroin for many years. He told me how he has discovered the healing power of Jesus Christ and how now he looks forward to a future serving Him. He wants to write a book and study the Bible eager to share what he has with other people. He is a desperate worshipper, passionate, open and honest knowing that he has been rescued and given hope and a future.

It was a reminder that I needed at the end of the day. So I slept well last night and woke up eager for today to see God at work again continuing to heal and release. Thank you God for shaking me out of my misery and despair and lifting my eyes once again to You.

This is the continuing story of St. Stephen’s. Whenever we worship together, usually twice a day, everyone is engaged straight away wanting to touch the Eternal Presence that they know they need to live life in victory and power. It is the foundation that the rest of the day is built on and it is how they move on one day at a time. It is plain and simple, sometimes un-tuneful, sometimes singing in a different key to the guitarist, but it is compelling because the worshippers are compelled. There is no looking around, no moaning about the songs, they are singing to the Saviour from the first note to the last, lost in wonder, love and praise. They speak out prayers and prophetic words, they pray for one another as the Spirit prompts them, they kneel, raise their hands, gaze upwards in adoration, you can see it, you can feel it. It is real, from the heart, not just another worship song sung with the lips.

That is what will make every day a great day for me, when I realise that my first ‘duty’ is to worship God, the Maker of Heaven and Earth, the Saviour, who was crucified, but now is alive, risen, exalted Christ.

Don’t get me out of here just yet! God clearly has more to do in me than he has done so far, and, to be honest, I’m looking forward to it.